Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Someone asked me what my "Not Country or Bluegrass" playlist looks like... Here you go...

1.Two.Unlimited - No Limit (3:49)
2.3 Doors Down - Be Like That (4:25)
3.*NSYNC - Tearin' Up My Heart (3:28)
4.A Perfect Circle - Judith (4:07)
5.ABBA - Mamma Mia (3:31)
6.Abba - Money Money Money (3:07)
7.Ace Of Base - All That She Wants (3:35)
8.Ace of Base - Beautiful Life (3:39)
9.Ace Of Base - The Sign (3:12)
10.Aerosmith - I dont want to miss a thing (4:42)
11.Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know (4:09)
12.Aqua - Barbie Girl (3:15)
13.Backstreet Boys - As Long As You Love Me (3:29)
14.Backstreet Boys - Everybody (3:44)
15.Backstreet Boys - Quit Playing Games (With My Heart) (3:53)
16.Barenaked Ladies - One Week (2:49)
17.Bif Naked - I Love Myself Today (3:30)
18.Blind Melon - No Rain (3:36)
19.Bush - Glycerine (4:28)
20.C & C Music Factory & Freedom Williams - Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) (4:04)
21.Collective Soul - December (4:45)
22.Collective Soul - Gel (2:58)
23.Collective Soul - Precious Declaration (Remix) (3:38)
24.Collective Soul - Shine (5:06)
25.Collective Soul - The World I Know (4:17)
26.Coolio - Gangstas Paradies (4:01)
27.Counting Crows - Mr. Jones (4:32)
28.Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me (5:16)
29.Default - Wasting My Time (4:28)
30.Disturbed - Stupify (4:05)
31.Eiffel 65 - Blue (4:42)
32.Evanescence - Bring Me To Life (3:57)
33.Evanescence - Going Under (3:34)
34.Evanescence - My Immortal (4:24)
35.Evanescence - My Last Breath (4:07)
36.Evanescence - Taking Over Me (3:50)
37.Evanescence - Tourniquet (4:38)
38.Everclear - Brown Eyed Girl (4:21)
39.Everclear - Everything To Everone (3:21)
40.Everclear - Santa Monica (3:12)
41.Everclear - Wonderful (4:19)
42.Everlast - What It's Like (5:03)
43.Fatboy Slim - The Rockafeller Skank (4:00)
44.Filter - Take A Picture (4:23)
45.Finger Eleven - One Thing (4:37)
46.Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (4:49)
47.Goo Goo Dolls - Slide (3:32)
48.Green Day - Basket Case (3:03)
49.Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) (2:34)
50.Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away (3:41)
51.Limp Bizkit - Re-Arranged (4:09)
52.Linkin Park - One Step Closer (2:36)
53.Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong (3:35)
54.Lit - My Own Worst Enemy (2:50)
55.Live - Lightning Crashes (5:26)
56.Los del rio - Macarena (3:53)
57.Marcy Playground - Sex And Candy (2:51)
58.Matchbox Twenty - 3 A.M. (3:46)
59.Matchbox Twenty - Push (3:58)
60.Matthew Good - Weapon (4:54)
61.Matthew Good Band - Apparitions [Edit] (4:06)
62.Matthew Good Band - Hello Time Bomb (3:56)
63.Matthew Good Band - Indestructible (3:24)
64.Matthew Good Band - Load Me Up (3:41)
65.MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This (4:15)
66.Metallica - Enter Sandman (5:31)
67.Metallica - Nothing Else Matters (6:29)
68.Michael Jackson - Billie Jean (4:54)
69.Michael Jackson - Black Or White (4:15)
70.Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal (4:17)
71.Nirvana - In Bloom (4:15)
72.Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (5:01)
73.No Mercy - Where Do You go (4:31)
74.Oasis - Champagne Supernova (7:28)
75.Oasis - Wonderwall (4:19)
76.Our Lady Peace - 4am (4:17)
77.Our Lady Peace - Automatic Flowers (4:05)
78.Our Lady Peace - Clumsy (4:29)
79.Our Lady Peace - Life (4:16)
80.Our Lady Peace - Superman's Dead (4:16)
81.P.O.D. - Youth Of The Nation (4:16)
82.R.E.M. - Losing My Religion (4:27)
83.Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away (4:45)
84.Red Hot Chili Peppers - Scar Tissue (3:37)
85.Ricky Martin - Livin' la vida loca (4:05)
86.Roxette - It Must Have Been Love (4:47)
87.Savage Garden - Truly, madly, deeply (4:36)
88.Semisonic - Closing Time (4:33)
89.Shaggy - Boombastic (3:49)
90.Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun (5:20)
91.Spice Girls - Wannabe (2:56)
92.Spin Doctors - Two Princes (4:17)
93.Staind - It's Been Awhile (4:25)
94.The Cranberries - Zombie (5:06)
95.The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get (3:13)
96.The Offspring - Come Out And Play (3:18)
97.The Offspring - Self Esteem (4:18)
98.The Presidents Of The United States Of America - Lump (2:12)
99.The Tea Party - Heaven Coming Down (4:02)
100.The Verve Pipe - The Freshmen (4:28)
101.The Wallflowers - One Headlight (5:12)
102.Third Eye Blind - How's It Going To Be (4:13)
103.Third Eye Blind - Jumper (4:31)
104.Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go (3:56)
105.Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life (4:28)
106.Tom Cochrane - Life Is A Highway (1992) (4:26)
107.Tool - Schism (6:47)
108.U2 - Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me (4:45)
109.U2 - Mysterious Ways (4:03)
110.Weezer - Buddy Holly (2:39)
111.Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag (4:02)
112.Whigfield - Saturday Night (4:26)

That's kinda sad... I know that I should have more in there. Apparently I need to update my playlist a little bit.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

You Don't Get To Have A Happy Father's Day

First off, let me say this. I love my father. He's my hero. Truly one of my best friends. I'm beyond lucky to have a man like him as an icon in my life. He knows this. There's no question.

Now that that's out of the way, I gotta get something off my chest. I am so damn sick of pretending to be happy celebrating Father's Day. I hate it. I loathe it. I absolutely detest it. And one simple thing would completely change this.

Being a father.

Father's day is a day where everyone is supposed to go and give everyone who's ever procreated the good old pat on the ass and say good job! You're an awesome person! You're raising a beautiful family! All things that are fantastic.

What you don't see, though, are the men that want to be a daddy. Those of us that have tried and tried and tried for years to have children. To raise that beautiful family. We're the best uncles in the world. Everyone always tells us that. Oh, your nephews and nieces are so lucky to have an uncle like you! (Because we always have time for them) Please don't get me wrong, I love my nephews and nieces to death. I quite literally would do anything in the world for them. But being stuck as the best uncle in the world gets old. I would, in a heartbeat, trade that title to have little hands give me a coffee cup that says "World's Best Dad". Instead, I'm supposed to go and tell everyone else living my dream, my lifelong dream, MY DREAM SINCE I WAS A CHILD DREAM, 'oh hey man, happy father's day!' And I'm supposed to do it with a smile, and I'm supposed to be sincere about it.

I can't. I just can't do it anymore. After 10 years of trying to be an active part of Father's Day, I can't put myself through it anymore. I can't go out, smile, and bullshit my way through a day that is an annual reminder of everything I will never get to have. I'm sick of going home and damn near crying myself to sleep because I don't get to be called daddy. I don't get to take my child fishing, or hunting. Or teach them how to play guitar of throw a football. I don't get to make those memories. And it kills me.

But, you have a dream job (I really do), and you've got an amazing guitar (again, I really do), and your wife still has a smoking body (she really does). I would trade my dream job for some shitty labour job in a heartbeat. I would trade my Martin acoustic for a Walmart special. And my wife will always be beautiful (seriously, always). I would trade EVERY THING to have little fingers wrap around mine and know that I made that.

Why isn't there any recognition for guys that want to be a daddy but can't, for whatever reason? Why can't we be celebrated?

Because it's not a happy thing.

Father's Day is not happy.

Not for me.